Wild Headline Ambiguity

Wild Headline Ambiguity

Around the turn of the century, Jeff Henning sent out a list of ambiguous headlines. He and I spent some time afterwards analyzing the various reasons for confusion.

The list is dated, but the linguistic problems with the English language remain. Most of these errors could be made in no language other than English.

Here is part of that list. These are actual headlines, innocently printed without a clue as to possible misinterpretation.


>>Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
>>Include your Children when Baking Cookies
>>Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
>>Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
>>Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
>>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>>Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
>>Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
>>Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
>>Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>>Stud Tires Out
>>Farmer Bill Dies in House
>>Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
>>Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
>>Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>>Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
>>British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
>>Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
>>Eye Drops off Shelf
>>Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
>>Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
>>Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
>>Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
>>Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
>>Miners Refuse to Work after Death
>>Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>>Stolen Painting Found by Tree
>>Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
>>Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
>>Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
>>If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
>>Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
>>Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>>Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
>>New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>>Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
>>Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>>Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
>>Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
>>British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
>>Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
>>Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
>>New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
>>Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
>>Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air
>>Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
>>Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
>>Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
>>Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
>>Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
>>You Can Put Pickles Up Yourself

Perhaps you can add some more recent examples.

Leo

Balloon to Oz

Balloon to Oz, copyright 2012, soon to be published,

but first chapters are currently available for FREE,

at the end of the published Mysterious Tintype of Oz.

Use the same coupon to get this preview of the story

of the 17-year-old boy who sails off to Oz, later to

become ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.’

Use the same coupon at

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Mysterious Tintype of Oz

The Acadon language is presented in the Hidden Chronicles of Oz.

While Acadon is designed for use in our humdrum world called Alpimar, it is also to be found among the elves of Erdavon, the magic world in which the Land of Oz exists.

Mysterious Tintype of Oz,

published February 2013

Available NOW at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/284413

It will be listed at other e-book dealers as well.

                                  -- Price is $4.99

BUT UNTIL MARCH 19 YOU CAN DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE IF YOU USE THIS COUPON at SMASHWORDS

click

The Mysterious Tintype of Oz

Enter: AA63E (not case sensitive)

100% off first month of issue

issued 2013-02-19; effective immediately; expiration date 2013-03-19 

Acadon in a Fantasy Context

The Acadon language is presented in the 
Hidden Chronicles of Oz

While Acadon is designed for use in our humdrum world called Alpimar, it is also to be found among the elves of Erdavon, the magic world in which the Land of Oz exists.

Two books of the Hidden Chronicles of Oz are on your way.

Mysterious Tintype of Oz,

published February 2013

Available NOW at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/284413

Will be listed at other e-book dealers as well.

-- Price is $4.99

BUT UNTIL MARCH 19 YOU CAN DOWNLOADED IT FOR FREE IF YOU USE THIS COUPON at SMASHWORDS

click

The Mysterious Tintype of Oz

Enter: AA63E (not case sensitive)

100% off during the first month of issue

issued 2013-02-19; effective immediately; expiration date 2013-03-19 

........

Balloon to Oz

Balloon to Oz, copyright 2012, soon to be published,

but first chapters are currently available for FREE,

at the end of the published Mysterious Tintype of Oz.

Use the same coupon to get this preview of the story

of the 17-year-old boy who sails off to Oz, later to

become ‘The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.’

Use the coupon at

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/284413

Seven Basic Principles of Acadon

The Seven Basic Principles of Acadon:

Those involved in the design and presentation of Acadon have kept these basic principles in mind.

1) Acadon is itself -- unique and integral.

Acadon is not ‘experimental English,’ or ‘latter-day Latin,’ or ‘a kinder Klingon’ or ‘a new Esperanto.” It is only Acadon. If it seems different or even odd on first glance, so be it. Acadon marches to its own drummer.

2) Acadon is based on what Acadon can do.

Acadon seeks to universalize access to data and improve cross-cultural communication, and all design decisions must be performance-centered in that context. Acadon users do not exhort, only describe capabilities. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

3) Apply Occam's razor, but don't cut yourself on it.

All other things being equal, Acadon favors simplicity; yet it also promotes richness and complexity of expression -- if and when they serve established goals.

4) Chop through all Gordian knots.

If a problem has no theoretical solution, avoid its practical effects where possible. To minimize the effect of noisy channels and dissimilar linguistic habits, for example, Acadon simply avoids potentially confusing sounds at a word-by-word level.

5) Take all of the world's population into consideration.

As many users as possible should find as much familiar about Acadon as possible. To minimize the learning load, Acadon seeks the most widespread vocabulary items. No linguistic culture should be excluded simply because of current economic or educational factors. These vocabulary decisions cannot be made by any pre-established "mathematical formula" based on proportional representation for population size or by pre-selecting a
set of "major languages" for special treatment.

6) Acadon users should make no claims for Acadon that are not concrete and realistic.

Acadon must not be presented, for example, as a panacea for the political or moral problems of the world. It is a tool to deal with the linguistic dimensions of current international communication problems.

7) Recognize that Acadon cannot be perfect -- all languages have wobble.

Perfection is not a goal of the project. Acadon does not perfectly mirror reality; no language can. It will be sufficient for Acadon to be far better than English (or Chinese or Russian or Spanish ...) in a variety of ways of considerable economic and other practical value to its users.