Thursday, February 28, 2013

Wild Headline Ambiguity

Wild Headline Ambiguity

Around the turn of the century, Jeff Henning sent out a list of ambiguous headlines. He and I spent some time afterwards analyzing the various reasons for confusion.

The list is dated, but the linguistic problems with the English language remain. Most of these errors could be made in no language other than English.

Here is part of that list. These are actual headlines, innocently printed without a clue as to possible misinterpretation.


>>Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
>>Include your Children when Baking Cookies
>>Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
>>Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
>>Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
>>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>>Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
>>Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
>>Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
>>Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>>Stud Tires Out
>>Farmer Bill Dies in House
>>Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
>>Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
>>Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>>Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
>>British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
>>Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
>>Eye Drops off Shelf
>>Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
>>Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
>>Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
>>Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
>>Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
>>Miners Refuse to Work after Death
>>Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>>Stolen Painting Found by Tree
>>Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
>>Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
>>Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
>>If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
>>Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
>>Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>>Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
>>New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>>Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
>>Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>>Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
>>Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
>>British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
>>Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
>>Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
>>New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
>>Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
>>Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing Air
>>Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
>>Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
>>Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
>>Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
>>Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
>>You Can Put Pickles Up Yourself


Perhaps you can add some more recent examples.

Leo

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